I'm an indian giver and I don't want to be!

Well folks, we are 1 week away from our Jackson Challenge! I know most of you are thinking from my title that we are chickens and have decided to not do the challenge because its too much work. WRONG!!! It's actually the opposite. We are excited and have been talking about it daily, we want to start, but we need every pound to count. ( Sorry, just being honest) :) I am an Indian giver, and I hate it! It seems like every other day I give this mission trip to Guatemala over to God to figure out, and then the next day I start fretting about it. " God, if you want us to go to Guatelmala, then you need to provide the finances for it." ... " Oh my word, how is this going to work. At this rate we will never get there. We might as well give up now." These are my thoughts that I toil with. Why is giving something over to God so difficult? It's not for lack of KNOWING that my Heavenly Father provides my every NEED! That I know! In fact, I have experienced that all summer long. Since I work in a school, I get paid when school is in session. And when school is out of session, well let's just say, its bad around here. God provided me with another chance to work for 6 weeks during the summer which helped a ton, but there were still 5 weeks of no work. Granted, I love having to spend time with my daughter during those weeks, but I didn't enjoy sitting down to pay bills. We had many times during this summer that we didn't even have money to get gas for Chris to go to work, or didn't know how we would pay our electric bill or car insurance. BUT, guess what... GOD PROVIDED AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME, EACH TIME! Chris was able to get gas in his car, our electric never got shut off, and we always had car insurance. It wasn't us figuring out fuzzy math, it was God! I knew we couldn't do it on our own. So maybe that was the reason it was easier to trust Him?? I don't know, but I gave the summer over to God, and I didn't take it back. Trust me I didn't want to figure out that mess! So why now? Do I think that God can't figure out how to provide large amounts at one time ( $4500 is quite a large ,,,amount)? Or maybe because its a different country? Or its not a need? I don't know what my major malfunction of the brain is. All I know is, I'm not perfect, and God is still working on me. And I need to go to I. G. A. ( Indian Givers Ann... That big word I don't know how to spell). So, these are the facts that I know... 1. GOD LOVES ME ( inspite of my major malfunction of the brain). 2. GOD WILL PROVIDE if this is truly His will for our family to go on this mission trip. 3. I will continue to give this over to God daily. 4. I am excited for this new chapter of our lives. I'm ready for this challenge to get our family healty, both inside and out. 5. I am trusting that many people will join with us in this Challenge, to help encourage, motivate, and ultimately get us to Guatemala. 6. I NEED LOTS OF PRAYER! THANKS GOD FOR LOVING US UNCONDITIONALLY! AND ALWAYS GIVING US WHAT WE NEED AT EXACTLY THE TIME WE NEED IT! I hope you are able to say this too! If you don't know Him yet, don't wait! I couldbt imagine life without His goodness and faithfulness. Thanks for reading my thoughts. Have a great day! Michelle